Apr 19, 2011
This morning I walked my lovable dog Maggie.
Towards the end of our journey, Maggie took a poop. Now I had not expected this. I had thought she had pooped in the yard earlier, and I did not have a bag to clean it up. So I walked across the street found a plastic bag protruding from a garbage can, went back across street, cleaned it up and threw it away.
As I walked off, I heard a woman say "Did your dog just poop?"
I said yes.
"Aren't you going to clean it up?"
"I'm sorry?" I said.
The woman pointed to two overturned plastic silverware containers the pavenment shielding two pieces of poop from an unsuspecting foot. Sort of ghetto poop genius.
"That's not my poop. Or my dog's poop."
"Whatever," she shrugged.
" My dog pooped across the street and I put in in this garbage can. You don't believe me? "
The woman shrugs again and rolls her eyes, I felt like I was being racially profiled, for my pitbull and my American Apparel sweatshirt. The lovely lady then gets in her Prius with her daughter and sits with the motor running, probably giving her a daughter a lesson in how not to trust the world. I stood over the aforementioned poop and wondered what the right thing to do would be.
I thought about the Rabbi from my Passover seder the night before. A pious man with seven children. Would he clean up the poop? Would community goodwill override individual accountability? Or would he defend his honor and walk away?
After about two minutes of this little standoff, Ms Sassy reversed her Prius to where I was standing glared at me, then mustered the courage put the car in drive. I watched her turn a corner, and once I was out of her sight, I knelt down and cleaned up someone else's poop from the sidewalk.
I look forward to seeing her again.
Now clean up your poop!